Soulmate???

I hear it often:  "He is my soulmate."  I seldom hear "she is my soulmate!"  And that in itself is a revelation.....that men or more realistic when it comes to a relationship.   Men know right up front that they would rather be fishing or golfing (in other words, moving on) rather than doing the hand touching or partner  pleasing thing that might define them as the perfect soulmate in the couples peer group. 




 

 

 


 Similar, but not two-of-a-kind:  

 

Anyway, since I really don't know who a soulmate might be, I checked out the definition today and came away even more confused and in many ways saddened at what I read.   There is seldom a black or white to anything and almost never is there agreement on something so deep in stuff as being a soulmate. 

 One author indicated that a soulmate is one who completes their mate.   Well, hold on there podnah!  I have all my fingers and toes as well as my heart and brain.  While the HuMan of the house is a major part of my life, his being doesn't make me a complete person, nor I him. 

We enjoy each other's company most of the time. 

We disagree on things, sometimes vehemently.  I don't complete his sentences nor he mine as was suggested by one author on the topic of soulmates.

One author says that soulmates tend to make eye contact more often when in a conversation.  HuMan and I might do that if the TV isn't on or a bird or jet plane isn't flying by at the perfect moment that we should be making eye contact.     It's pretty difficult to make eye contact in our back garden as we stroll  the path, he leading the way and I following along behind.    Or sometimes, I  lead the way and he follows.  We often take different paths because our interests are so different. 


One soulmate defining group says that soulmates see all things on all levels and are in total agreement.  Whoever heard!!!   How boring a relationship with not even a reason to modulate one's voice or have facial expressions or body language.   No sassing out a hip to get his attention....no finger pointing or arm waving to get a point across.  There can be nothing real or alive in such an unreal state of dis-harmony.   

Another bummer side of  having a soulmate is that when you aren't in sync, one might tend to compensate (lie to self) about the relationship.  In other words hide the fact that they might have to insert foot in mouth once they realize that this whodunit isn't a soulmate after all.

One author even suggested that the soulmate relationship might allow a partner to be more critical of his or her mate to bring the relationship into the harmony the disgruntled partner is seeking.  Now, this leads me to believe right off that there has been a soulmate mistake. 

One author suggests that it is perfectly natural in  soulmating for one partner to challenge the other to continuously seek perfection in oneself and in the world surrounding.  I'm already exhausted.

And another brilliant author suggests that you will never be the same person you were before meeting your soulmate.   Hmmmmmmmm:   I'm not the same person I was yesterday, with or without a soulmate union. 

Okay, I get it....I'm not a people pleaser and have obviously never had a soulmate. 

I'm not a person who takes written words at face value.  I question the sense or nonsense of the words.  


Admitting that, I'll just have a bite of lunch and get myself back to the sewing machine.  Now I'm happy and when I'm happy, my notta soulmate is usually happy too. 

No eye contact required to know we've reached an agreement:  Having a soulmate relationship isn't the end all.